I’ve written about this before. I wrote about my decision regarding my last name here, and you can read it if you wish.
But, this isn’t going to be a rehash of that post. Rather, this post is going to focus on the stigma associated with taking your partners last name.
Now, I get it. It’s the 21st century. Feminism is still around because we need it to be. We need to fight issues such as unequal pay in our own country, and we need to be the voice feminist voice for the people of other countries.
However, in order to be that powerful, unified voice, we need to stop fighting each other.
We need to remember that feminism involves giving people choices.
When I made the decision that I would take my fiancé’s last name, I had a thorough internal crisis. I have many reasons for doing so (as I said in my other post) but it did make me wonder whether I’d let all of the people that have fought for feminism over the years down.
Am I conforming to the patriarchy?
And then I saw this tweet…
I love when women are having the I Won’t Take My Husband’s Name Because I Already Have My Own Name conversation & a dude pops in with “but you’ve already taken a MAN’S last name from your dad” and like how clever of you to notice that, yes, the patriarchy is literally everywhere— Anne Thériault (@anne_theriault) 28 December 2018
And I realised that, really, it’s one of those situations where you’re damned if you do and damned if you don’t.
There should be absolutely no shame in your decision because, ultimately, it’s completely your decision!
I have my own reasons for taking Zack’s last name and, to me, it’s really just not that much of a big deal! It’s not the most important part of our marriage, I’m not just doing it to conform to society, and I’m not a traitor for feminism for making my own choice!
The sooner that we realise that feminism is all about giving everyone the right to choose, the better.