Why I have an issue with Bella Swan. 

This post was actually inspired by this post from the lovely Tarnya who convinced me to rewatch twilight all these years later.
This film turns 10 years old (crazy huh?) next year so when it came around I was pretty young, and pretty impressionable but I was OBSESSED. And when I say obsessed, I don’t just mean that I read the books and watched the films, I knew the names of all the actors, stalked them online, had posters, t shirts, the Twilight craze was, well, crazy all that time ago! But, it wasn’t until I recently rewatched the films that I realised how problematic the relationship of Bella and Edward actually is.
Whilst 9 year old me was in love with the idea of being in love and thought edward’s stalker tendencies were oh-so-romantic, 18 year old me of a 5 year relationship and now engagement, definitely does not. If anything, I find Edward suppppppeeeeer creepy! Like Tarnya pointed out in her post, the guy watches Bella sleep, that’s so weird.
Edward even admits his obsession himself to Bella when he says she’s like his ‘own personal strand of heroin’, yeah, creeeeepy. But my problem is not even the creepy relationship, it’s the romanticisation of the creepy relationship. Like Stephanie Meyer doesn’t only present this as normal, but she presents it as the most amazing relationship you could ever possibly want.
To me, Edward and Bella became ultimate #goals. But, this wasn’t quite like stalking an Instagram couple, the tendencies in their relationship were unhealthy, extremely unhealthy. But I think I really expected those. I expected someone to love me as though they’d been waiting for me for over a century. I expected that deep, passionate, intense and kind of creepy love, because that’s what I was shown ‘love’ to be like. I’m an intense person at the best of times, but the lessons that I took away from Edward and Bella’s relationship were not healthy whatsoever, and their relationship should never have been presented that way.
I mean, when Edward leaves, Bella doesn’t leave the house for godsake. Break ups are painful, but sectioning yourself off the way Bella does in New Moon is just not healthy. You need friends, and food, and you need to not email your boyfriend’s sister’s old email account for comfort, that’s just a bit weird.
So Bella, Stephanie, everyone involved, please stop romanticising this extremely unhealthy relationship. It’s wrong and, frankly, a little scary.
Thanks for reading!
Love,
H x

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7 Comments

  1. abbeylouisarose 19th March 2017 / 6:12 PM

    I definitely see where you’re coming from here, Hayley! I think it’s absolutely spot on that the relationship between Edward and Bella goes past the point of being romanticised, it’s portrayed as exactly what a girl could and should want – and that’s just not something I can agree with! Edward is incredibly possessive and downright cruel when he ups and leaves, and Bella’s reaction to the breakup is not healthy in the slightest! I always thought Jacob was a far nicer character, and not only because of Taylor Lautner hahah! Thanks for sharing your views!
    Abbey 😘 http://www.abbeylouisarose.co.uk

  2. Just Joelle 19th March 2017 / 9:20 PM

    Completely agree with this, as much as I love Robert Pattinson Edward Cullen is obsessive and control. Such a shame that an unhealthy relationship is portrayed as being idealistic “couple goals” to young girls. How time flies though!

  3. bronaghloves 20th March 2017 / 1:54 AM

    I fully agree with this! I used to think all I wanted was Bella & Edwards relationship but now I see how weird it was.
    Plus he was like 118.. a bit too old for her lol!
    Bronagh
    http://www.bronaghloves.com

  4. Llinos (@thelilaclinnet) 20th March 2017 / 6:25 PM

    Confession: I’ve never watched or read Twilight, but I think your comments are really valid!

  5. wonderfullybookish 22nd March 2017 / 11:10 AM

    I definitely went through a craaazy Twilight phase too. (I must admit, sometimes the first film can still be my guilty pleasure – all the other films I’d happily never watch again though, hahaha). But yeah, the relationship between them is so weird! The books are just weird in general – I mean, sparkling vampires and Bella getting pregnant (even though Edward is a vampire and technically dead)? Weird!

  6. Kanra Khan 22nd March 2017 / 3:45 PM

    One thing you have to admit, despite all the craziness in the book (sparkles etc), it still became really popular. Makes me wonder what would happen if I wrote a book about an alien obsessed with humans for their technology (like vampire obsessed with humans for their blood) and instead of sparkling, the alien glows in the dark? but is super handsome so everything is forgiven xD
    When I was a kid, I was kinda ok with the edward bella dynamic (although I remember thinking bella was stupid for the way she was pining for him) but most of all I was really mad at Jacob cause it was just really uncomfortable for me xD the whole suddenly a werewolf fighting a vampire etc it was just euch. Although I also remember being fascinated by the Renesmee affair cause me being the biology nerd was like “wait a second. dont sperm need to constantly divide and grow………….. why are the female vampires the only ones with the problem??? give rosalie her baby D:<"
    anyway, good post! I had a lot of fun reading!
    the-emo-wolverine-writes.blogspot.com

  7. Chloe 13th April 2017 / 6:14 PM

    10 years?! Wow, that’s been a while. I remember watching the first one and falling in love with it, since I love all things supernatural. I don’t really like Bella either, in all honesty. I’m not sure why I don’t like her, I just have that feeling about her. Thanks so much for sharing your views on it!
    – Chloe
    chloetommo.co.uk
    xoxo

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