So, I’ve officially finished the end of my first year of university. I’m no longer a fresher, and I’m a little scared for the future. I have blogged a few times about my experiences at university, particularly when I first went, so I thought it would only be right to update you on everything now that my first year is over!
All in all, I didn’t have a bad first year. Grades wise I’m very happy with what I managed to achieve, and I really enjoyed most of my modules and classes so that’s a positive. But this year has been hard, and I’m not going to sugar coat that.
I’ve really learnt a lot about myself this year. I’ve learnt a lot about mental illness, and a lot about my anxiety and how it can affect my body. I’ve experienced the worst my anxiety has ever been for prolonged periods of time, but I’ve come out of the other end and I feel stronger mentally now.
However, this crippling anxiety that I experienced towards the last few months of my first year did mean that I’ve missed out on things I wanted to attend. I’ve also distanced myself from the friends I first made, and that really makes me sad because I was so happy with my friends at the end of the first term.
To put it bluntly, my anxiety has been making me physically ill. This, combined with the stress of university has really taken it’s toll on me mentally and physically which is why I resulted in distancing myself from my friends a little. This is my own fault completely, but it is because when I’ve tried to explain my anxiety to friends in the past I’ve been ridiculed, so I tend not to mention it now.
I was very unhappy with where I lived in first year, especially towards the end. This made me feel unsafe and contributed to the anxiety I was already feeling, so I was at a real low.
The first year of university just really wasn’t what I expected it to be. However, I love my job, my course, and the people I’m living with in September, so here’s hoping for a much better second year!