This is something that I have struggled with my whole life.
So much so, that I’ve often refused to celebrate my achievements. I’ve asked family members to delete congratulatory posts from social media, refrained from sharing good news, heck, I even got embarrassed when I won more school awards that anyone else, because I didn’t want to seem like I was ‘bragging’.
I have tried to be humble, and tried to be ‘down-to-earth’, but there has been times when I’ve been really, really, proud of myself. And I’ve refrained from celebrating, because even the slightest celebration can be seen as ‘bragging’.
I see it now in blogging with the ‘exciting emails’ concept. There’s some times when I am really, really, REALLY, happy about the email that I’ve received. I may even do a little happy-dance around my bedroom, but I don’t share it online. Simply because I don’t want that pride to be diminished by someone telling me that I am wrong for celebrating my achievements or sharing my pride, and it sucks to be honest.
Don’t get me wrong, I’ve been on the other side of the ‘exciting email’ fiasco too. And yeah, it can make you feel a bit poop when someone seems to be getting lots of opportunities and your inbox is looking rather dry. BUT (and it’s a big one), does that mean that they shouldn’t share their achievements at all? I’m not so convinced.
Because, really, what’s lying at the heart of it is jealousy. I am not afraid to admit that. That’s why it makes us feel a bit pants, because we are *a bit* jealous of the opportunity. In this situation, it’s easy to justify your envious feelings by thinking “oh, well they are just bragging!”, but that doesn’t mean that it’s right.
In fact, I feel like (and this is just my opinion), as a society, we easily masquerade our jealousy as ‘bragging’. The dictionary definition of ‘bragging’ actually states that it’s a demonstration of excessive pride and boasting, not the demonstration of pride at all. But, as a society, just the slightest hint of pride at all and we are like ‘HELL NO!! HOW DARE YOU BE PROUD! YOU ARE A BRAGGER!” and that’s it, case close, you feel like marginally *a tinsy bit* better, and the person that *was* proud of themselves now feels like utter shit on a plate, congrats.
And I’ll admit it, my own personal experiences could be very much clouding my judgement here, but I still see so much of this and the blogging world is awful for it!
Why do we (myself included) have to feel jealousy over someone else doing great? Why can’t we just be like ‘yas girl’ and move on with our days? Even, why can’t we just ignore it? Is all of life just one big competition?
These are questions that I cannot answer, to be honest. But, I did ask some of you your opinions, and here’s what we have:
I think there’s an obvious difference between those who are genuinely proud of their achievements and those who brag, beg and do my head in
— Rosie (@LoveRosiee1) 1 May 2018
If you have something to be proud of then of course post it, however some people can take it too far. I’d say it’s best done in a humble manor.
— zack (@whatdoiknowbest) 29 April 2018
I feel like there’s quite a clear difference between someone being excited about something, and someone bragging. I muted someone I don’t follow cause they would tweet about all their brand collabs and go on they were so in demand and a ‘higher quality blogger’ than others 🙄
— Bethany Jane (@adventureanx) 29 April 2018
It doesn’t bother me. I think if people are doing it regularly without revealing what it is, it’s obviously a little different, but genuine tweets about exciting collabs has me excited for people. To me, a blog is a business and it’s no different to brands doing it x
— Sarah Jayne Potter (@sarahhhhrah) 29 April 2018
I think there’s nothing wrong with celebrating something that excites you, as long as you’re not doing it in such a way to deliberately put others down. And when someone is excited and ‘bragging’ in the right way we should celebrate their successes with them
— Nici Moran🌸 (@OddsandTrends_) 29 April 2018
Me, personally? I’d like to change my mindset on ‘bragging’ completely. I want to be happy for others, and for myself! And I want to be able to share my pride, without being told that I am bragging. However, I do also admit that there is a line. This can be excessive, and it can be a *bit* too much some times.
So, am I contradicting myself entirely in this post? Perhaps.
I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments.