I’ll be honest, I’ve tried to write this post a few times with varying titles, and none of them really worked. I tried to make it more personal with the ‘being stuck where you are’ title, but I felt like this is something that is universally relatable when you’re in your twenties, and it can be frustrating.
I feel like everyone in their twenties has something frustrating them, whether it be because of a relationship, housing prices, job prospects; there’s something for us all.
So, lemme set the scene for you with my own personal experience.
I’m 20, so literally just on the cusp of my twenties, but I’m already ready to move on. I’m currently at university, which I’m loving, but I can’t help but feel a little bit stuck. And the main reason for this is because of my relationship.
See, I’ve been with my fiancé for 7 years and we’ve been engaged for 1 1/2. We’re planning a wedding and we’re also planning to go travelling after said wedding, and I’m very excited for both of those things. But, at the moment, he’s at the other side of the world. I haven’t seen him for 3 months and I’m getting a bit fed up. I feel ready to move in with him and start our lives together, after 7 years, but it’s simply not possible for us at the moment because of our geographical location.
You might just be thinking “oh but that’s just because of long distance”, it isn’t. See, I know people in their twenties who live in the same town, but are frustrated that housing prices mean that they cannot move out. Or people in their twenties who are in unpaid internships, busting their ass and earning next to nothing, just hoping that the experience will pay off in the long run. Or people in their twenties who just want to travel the world, but can’t because of financial means.
And I get it.
In fact, zack and I are kind of the lucky ones in that we are able to afford to travel and have a wedding, and I am beyond grateful for those things, don’t get me wrong. But, I cannot help but feel like everyone in their twenties is frustrated about something.
And, ultimately, it’s because we all want to have it all and we want it now. We’ve grown up in an instant society where we are no longer used to waiting for things. We see the lives of other people on social media and wonder why we can’t have it all, just like them.
But, truthfully, there’s something that they’re probably frustrated about too.
See, it happens to all of us- we’re a restless generation. We’ve been taught to strive for the best and not to settle for less and, that can be a good thing, but it can also mean that we are left feeling frustrated when we don’t have everything.
We’re somehow expected to have everything sorted the second that the clock hits 12 on our 20th birthdays. It’s like the 18/19 year old adult trial run is over and we’re full adults now.
It just seems to constantly feel like we’re not enough and we’re not doing enough and that’s the most frustrating bit.
So, I’m going to make a conscious effort to make sure that I spend a little longer being grateful for the things that I do have instead of getting swept up by this restlessness, because it’s easy to forget them and be blinded on the pursuit for ‘perfection’. I am thankful for my relationship, no matter how far apart we are, the things that we have to look forward to, and that I am able to be at university.
I asked on twitter what you are/were frustrated about in your twenties, and here are some responses:
I feel like I’m too old for a lot of things but at the same time too young to be taken seriously. Comparing yourself on social media with other people is the worst. I sometimes feel like I’ve fallen behind my peers in life.— Brooke Dawson (@brookedawson93) 9 September 2018
Being 26, feeling 15, wondering if the two will ever align. Will I ever know how to budget my finances? Will I ever keep a plant alive? When will I be able to fold a fitted sheet?— Aoife 📚🦄 (@PrettyPPD) 9 September 2018
The constant questions from grandparents about my damn love life. I’m happy single now leave me alone 😂 and no there won’t be any grandkids anytime soon!— Charlotte (@outspokenblnde) 9 September 2018
I get frustrated because no one I’ve ever been interested in romantically has ever liked me back so I can’t have a relationship then feel like I’ll be alone forever. Seeing everyone getting engaged/married just rubs it in 😂— Vicky (@Vickatronic) 9 September 2018
Definitely expectations! I still live at home (saving for my own place) but so many people make comments like “Oww you still live with your parents?!” I’m very lucky to have my parents but it still seems to be looked down on if you’re not as “independent” as people expect— Jennifer (@rather_disney) 9 September 2018
Friendships. Everyone changing and growing at different paces puts a real strain on your friendship. I think that’s when you find out who your real friends are.— Jenn PhotoJennic (@jennifrost) 9 September 2018
Comparing yourself to other people I guess where you were in life – I.e. good job with steady income, relationships, children. X— ECBC 🐝❤️ (@ECBCManchester) 9 September 2018
Housing mostly! I have no idea how I’m going to get on the ladder with rents so high ☹️— Chloe Metzger (@chloemetzger) 9 September 2018
Expectations for careers, moving out, knowing what you want to do with your life 🙃— x (@SheLovessBeauty) 8 September 2018
I’ve just turned 22 & I feel frustrated every day. I constantly compare my life to other people my age. I feel inferior; I feel lost. I don’t think I’m *living* life. University is underwhelming & I don’t have many friends. Also, I hate my appearance and feel so much pressure!— CharleneMcElhinney🍑 (@blogabtnothing1) 8 September 2018
Like I’m not doing enough, I’m not adult enough, I don’t live by myself, I’m not independent, I can’t work because I’m studying and its full time.
That I’m not doing things soon enough? That the expectation of me to be done with education and ‘ settling’ now— Tori (@torijoliver) 8 September 2018
About everything! 😂 the expectations of where we “should” be by the time we’re in our twenties. The wondering if / when I’m ever going to feel like a “proper” adult and the guilt for not feeling like one.— Jenny in Neverland ✨ (@jennymarston_xo) 8 September 2018
What are you frustrated about? And, what are you grateful for? Let me know in the comments.