So, it’s been a year. One whole year since I passed the test that myself, my instructor, and everyone else I know didn’t believe that I would.
And it seemed weird to write this post at first. I’ve been passed for a year now, so what? But it was also such a monumental life moment for me, and I’ve got some things to admit about what’s happened since. Plus, I shared my whole driving lesson/test journey with you, and that journey is definitely not over yet.
So, basically, I don’t feel like I’ve driven very much in the year since I passed. Realistically, I have successfully driven from Leicester to Doncaster, Doncaster to Stafford, Stafford to Leicester and every other combination of those places imaginable quite a few times. And they’re a decent length of time (ranging between 1 hour and 1 hour 45 mins) so it’s not like I haven’t spent much time in the car, because that’s not true.
But what I mean by I feel like I haven’t driven very much is that I don’t really ever make short journeys in the car. And, because of that, I definitely don’t drive once a week. And, sometimes, I don’t drive once a month.
Does that sound as bad as it feels when I admit it? I don’t know.
But, the truth is, I kinda just prefer to walk. I didn’t learn to drive because I wanted to drive absolutely everywhere from that point onwards, or even because I needed to learn really, it was more just that I had the opportunity to so thought why not?
I get very anxious when driving still and, for some reason, that anxiety is much worse when it’s only a short trip. I don’t know if it’s because I know that I don’t have the time to get comfortable and confident, but for some reason it is just worse.
Plus, I really just don’t need to drive everywhere. And I cannot afford parking/petrol prices, and it’s bad for the planet and I live in a city so I can walk pretty much anywhere, so I don’t see why I would drive?
Honestly, it’s weird because I feel almost guilty for not driving. It feels like a waste somehow. But, really, the real waste would be co2 emissions from a car journey that I didn’t need to make.
I acknowledge, I am very lucky. I am lucky to be able to drive and I am lucky to be able to get myself to places by other means, and I do not take that for granted. But I just don’t see why I have to drive all of the time when I could walk, what’s up with that?
Plus, when I need to get into Leicester for work, I know that driving is the much more complicated option. Driving makes me anxious and stressed and I prefer not to do it when I am on a strict time schedule. Plus, parking in Leicester is a bloody nightmare. So, forgive me if I take the pretty easy train route instead.
Honestly? I do wish that I drove more. Now that Zack is home, it has made it easy for me to chill in the passenger seat and let my chauffeur do the hard work. And, consequently, I haven’t driven very much at all since January. And I know that I need to push myself a little more because I know that I can do it, it’s just I’ve got to fight that little voice in my head again that says that I can’t.
So, one year on, I am not where I want to be. But I am much much better than when I started, and I know that a little more experience will go a long way for me.