Helloooo there!
I haven’t ever really posted anything this personal before, but anyone who knows me may know that I’ve been with my current boyfriend for almost 5 years now (since we were both 13) and we have been long distance for 2 years.
So first a bit of background. Before we were long distance, me and my boyfriend lived literally 10 minutes away from each other (walking). We saw each other every day at school and spent a lot of time after school together too. We didn’t really text much or communicate through anything other than being face-to-face, simply because he never had the credit to and we never really needed to as we saw each other every day.
However, almost 2 years ago now, my boyfriend made some career choices which mean he is away quite a lot. I’m not going to lie, when I realised he was serious about his career choice, I was absolutely terrified. We had never been apart for more than like 3 days since we had gotten together and I just couldn’t see how it could possibly work, he says I’m very pessimistic. Especially from what I’d seen on TV and films, long distance is always said to be a dooming factor for a relationship.
I’m not going to lie, it was really really hard at first. He spent 6 weeks away without coming home and during that time he basically worked 15/16 hour days, so for the little time he had chance to talk to me, he was so exhausted so it made talking difficult. I cried a lot in those first six weeks and I just genuinely went through a really down phase where I was convinced I had lost my boyfriend forever.
In fact, the first three months were awful. By this point, we’d figured out that FaceTiming every night (or just as often as you can) is essential and seeing each other as much as possible also. But something still just wasn’t quite right and I don’t really know what, I just feel like it was a really tough time in our relationship.
I mean, it didn’t suddenly get better over night, and I don’t even remember a turning point for when it got better, it just did. Like honestly, I never thought I’d be thankful for the distance but now I am because it’s really made me feel like our relationship is stronger. Plus, the time we do spend together is almost sacred and it’s just so much more special.
I’m not saying long distance works for everybody, but don’t think it’s an instant dooming for your relationship, like I did. Really, it can work, and really, it can be better and get better. But, you’ve got to really try to make it work, it’s not as natural as a normal relationship (if there is such a thing) and it does require effort. But honestly it can be so rewarding. For me, going long distance, even though I didn’t want to, meant I got to keep my first love and my best friend. Now it’s made our relationship even stronger and I get to still keep my love and best friend, but the time we do get to spend together is just so much more precious and special, and I couldn’t be happier in our relationship, although I do still wish we got to see a bit more of each other!
As always, thanks for reading!
H x