I toyed with the idea of writing this post. It’s been a while since I put pen to paper for my blog (or fingers to keyboard, I suppose), and I am very aware that my last post was kinda a sad one too. 

But, I felt that I couldn’t move forward with my blog until I wrote this. And, a few people have messaged me before to say that my long distance relationship posts really help them, so I simply couldn’t give this one a miss. So, here we are. Strap yourself in, cos this one is gonna be a very honest one. 

We’ve spoken about long distance relationships before and, something that we all seem to agree on, is that they suck. They’re not fun, they’re really very hard.

But, we also agree that the excitement before seeing them again is worth it all.

What happens, though, when they go again?

Well, this is something that I’ve experienced lately, and all I can say is that it is so much harder than before.

Zack came back for a whole two weeks, and the 4 months apart seemed worth it. We spent basically all of our time together, ordered all of the food that Zack’s missed for the last 4 months (seriously, deliveroo was at my house every day!!), and had the most magical Christmas market experiences. 

For the first time in 4 months, my happiness was uncontainable. Everything felt right and balanced in the world again, and it was amazing. 

Until about 3 days before Zack had to leave, when it suddenly hit me that I was going to have to say bye to him allover again. And, suddenly, I felt very very unprepared for what was to come.

See, I had been so busy enjoying my time with him that I forgot that we were on a time limit, and that it was almost time to say goodbye again.

The day before he left, when we drove back to his house, I cried and fell asleep (lol). I could feel my heartbreaking all over again, and it was simply horrible.

And, saying goodbye and driving away from him at the station was potentially one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. I wanted to turn the car around and go back for him so badly, but I didn’t want to make it any harder for him than it already was.

I know, I know. I know that this post is a sad one, but it’s something that I’ve never heard anyone speak about before and I wanted to be honest.

Today (the day I’m writing, not the day you’re reading) it has been a week since he left. And, things have been a little tense. 

I’m struggling. I’m struggling BAD. 

I don’t know why this is harder than the last time that I had to say goodbye, especially as it’s only for 7 weeks this time. But, for whatever reason, it really is. 

I’m really really looking forward to not having to say goodbye again, but it hurts that day could still be over a year away.

I don’t have any advice or helpful tips for you about getting through this because, to be honest, I’m not coping well myself. And that’s why I was half and half about writing this post, but I wanted to write this for me so I did.

Let me know in the comments or (as always) feel free to DM me if you’d like to chat about this further.

Love,

H x