How '13 Reasons Why' Helped My Relationship

I really wasn’t going to write a blog post about this series, I really wasn’t. I made my own thoughts on it pretty clear when I went on a little twitter rant. In case you didn’t see my rant, I’m going to share my opinions below. I’m also going to say ‘Trigger Warning’ for this post because I’m unsure what exact direction this is going to take, and it’s better to be safe than sorry.
Ok, so I watched 13 reasons when the hype was at it’s highest point, so pretty much as soon as it came out. I was completely and absolutely hooked on the show whilst I was watching it, and I thought, at the time, that I was enjoying it. However, soon after finishing, I realised just how much it had affected me. It brought back all of those feelings that I, myself, have had before and it all just got way too real for me. It scared me, and put me in an absolutely awful place because I began to think that it showed me, if I hadn’t had the support I needed at the time when I felt that way. This support was from my boyfriend, who’s now my fiancé.
I was angry after I finished the series because I hadn’t signed up for how it was going to affect me. It may have been my own fault for choosing to watch the show, but the show had also failed to provide an age rating, a synopsis about what EXACTLY it was going to show, and any help or advice for people going through these issues themselves. I felt like it glorified suicide, because it showed all of the clever steps Hannah took in taking her own life and didn’t discourage it in any way. But that’s just my opinions on the show.
What this post is actually about, is my fiancé’s reaction to it. At first when I begged him to watch it with me, he said no because it wasn’t his kind of show. That’s fine, so I watched it alone. However, after hearing so much about it, he decided to give it ago himself. At this point, I was so angry at the show that I actually tried to discourage him from doing so, but we’re both stubborn and he watched it any way.
As a sufferer, I felt like this show had failed to appreciate the complexities of my mental health conditions. However, as someone who has never suffered with any kind of mental health issues themselves, it opened my fiancé’s eyes.
I’m sure he won’t mind me saying (and he has approved this post), he wasn’t the most clued-up about mental health. I suffered and I tried to explain it to him, and although he 100% offered me the support I really needed, the understanding of how it really felt was something he could not relate to. He saw me cope with it every single day and, whilst he did his best to help and support me, I don’t think he really ever knew how bad I was at one point. This is my own fault for not opening up, but I also felt like because he hadn’t been through something like this before, he wouldn’t want to know.

Deep down, I know he wanted to be there for me, but I wouldn’t let him.

But, after watching 13 Reasons Why, my fiancé’s eyes had been opened into the world of mental health. He had seen, through the show, the effects that it really can have on a person, and how the smallest little things could really hurt someone who is already suffering so badly.

He wanted to understand before, and he really did try to, but I feel like this has really helped us in terms of explaining things. This show is far from perfect, but I now see the good in how it can help those who have a little understanding and knowledge of MH issues to understand the struggles that they can put you through every single day.

I’ve always been awful at trying to explain my own mind, and even bringing it up to begin the conversation, but this show got me and my fiancé talking about MH more than ever.

I think I can speak for him and say that this show really helped him to understand, and will hopefully help me in feeling able to open up to him in the future. This experience also helped me to understand how unaware many people are of MH issues, and how to explain myself to them. 

Have you watched the show? What are your opinions on it? Please feel free to share them in the comments.


H x

6 thoughts on “How '13 Reasons Why' Helped My Relationship

  1. I completely agree with you that the show really ought to have had a trigger warning for each episode – whilst some of the later episodes did have warnings about content, the themes of suicide ran throughout and really should have been more thoroughly forewarned! I am not surprised that watching the show was such an eye opener for Z, I think it’s wonderful that he supports you so much and tries to understand what you go through, that’s the sign of real love and a very strong relationship! ❤️
    Abbey 😘

  2. Loved reading this and can totally relate actually. James refused to watch it after a few episodes because didn’t like the thought of it, although he didn’t finish it all, he understood more after watching the after part of the characters discussing their rolls and that helped him understand me and how I am more and we’ve been better than ever!
    Jessica & James |

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