Hello blog, long time no see.

It’s been a hectic, stressful and anxiety-full few weeks, and I just haven’t been in the right mind frame to sit down and write. It’s not like me to stray from my usual schedule, I try to be really on it with this blog no matter what is happening in my life, but to be honest, my university work is draining my every creative thought, and I’m absolutely exhausted.

Christmas is supposed to be a time for rest and fun, but when you’re in third year, it’s a time for revision and essay writing and reviewing. I’ve spent much much much more of my time working than anything else, and am evening considering going back to university a week or so earlier than I had originally planned because I simply need to get on top of everything again.

I have an exam in two weeks time (less by the time that you’re reading this) and I’m very very scared for it. I haven’t had the time to revise like I’d hoped, and to be honest, I am very concerned. Between that and an impossible essay and my dissertation, my Christmas ‘break’ has been tough, and hasn’t offered the respite that I was really hoping for.

What’s more, I also have a break of less than 48 hours in between this term and the next, so it doesn’t look like life will be slowing down anytime soon. But, anyway, after the longest moan of an intro ever, that’s where I’ve been at and where I will be for a few weeks until I sort my brain out.

So anyway, hello 2019.

I don’t buy into all of this new year new me rubbish, but this year really does signal some huge changes for me in my lifestyle.

It’s nice to see you, and honestly, I’m glad that you’ve finally come around. You’ve been a year that I’ve been simultaneously excited and nervous to face, and a year that could be the best or the worst for a whole host of reasons.

But, 2019, the main reason that I am so excited for you to come around is that I finally get my fiancé back. After a long six months with a interlude of 2 weeks in the middle (that was way too short and went way too quickly) I am incredibly excited to just have some normality. I feel every emotional imaginable about zack’s return, and I am trying my hardest not to worry too much what the rest of the year has in store for us.

This new year marks the end of my degree, and so the beginning of my dissent into the real world. I’m scared, but I also feel incredibly ready to move on with my life.

And I also feel incredibly ready to spend every day of my life in a home with my fiancé. I’m not sure what shape or path this will take, but I know that it’s certainly something that I’m dreaming of in the not-so-distant future.

2019, I’m hoping that you bring me better luck than 2018. Although there have certainly been many many positives in the year, there has also been some pretty dark times, and I’m hoping that 2019 has much sunnier ones in store. In all honesty, 2018 has marked the worst year that I have ever had with my mental health, and it feels like such a huge step backwards from the progress that I had made in the last 6 or so years.

But, whatever you have in store, I’m aware that you’re here now anyway 2019. So me, my incredibly stressed brain, big dreams and ropey plans are forced to be at your mercy; please be kind to us.


H x