Being in the fish bowl.


Hello.
Before I start, I really should say that this isn’t going to be the chirpy, upbeat post that you maybe expect from me.
This is going to be raw, because it’s all about my life lately.
I’ve struggled with anxiety since I was diagnosed at 14, a lot of you know that, I’ve written about it on here many times before.
But, lately it’s gotten a lot worse.
I’ve hit a really rough patch, and it’s the worst time of the year for this to happen because it’s exam season, yay.
I’ve literally been feeling so isolated and so alone. I’ve been feeling like I’m literally trapped inside a fishbowl with no way to get out. Everyone around me seems to be living, but I do not feel like I am whatsoever.
I feel like I am caught on the outside staring at the world. Nothing quite seems right or real.
I feel very lost, and very detached and very alone even though I know there are people I can talk to.
I guess I just don’t know how to snap out of this. I don’t know how to stop feeling this way but I really really wish I did.
Have you ever felt like you’re trapped inside a fish bowl? Being forced to do the same thing day after day, with no escape? With the water clouding your vision? With the world around you just carrying on?
I know I will be okay, I really do. Just, right now, I wish I could be okay already. All of my posts, uni work, everything is suffering because I am, and I don’t know why and I don’t know what it is.
I hope I get back to being myself soon.
Love,
H x

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4 Comments

  1. Jessica & James 12th June 2017 / 2:08 PM

    I feel like there aren’t enough words to even try and help you but I completely understand, it’s so hard but I guess all you can do for now is just hold on and keep going. Never give up, you can through this and we’re all rooting for you! Hope you’re okay!
    Jessica & James | foodandbaker.co.uk

  2. Llinos (@thelilaclinnet) 12th June 2017 / 8:58 PM

    I am sorry to read this and I hope you feel better soon. There’s nothing worse than a knot of anxiety when you don’t know why it’s happening.

  3. wonderfullybookish 17th June 2017 / 10:26 AM

    I definitely know how you feel and it’s awful. I really hope you’re back on your feet soon. Smash through that fish bowl!! 💛

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