21 Things I’ve Learnt in 21 Years

It’s ma birthday, it’s ma birthday and that means…

The obligatory blog post!

I probably won’t do one of these every year because, wow, I don’t know if I can, but 21 seems like an age to be marked. It’s a bit scary, actually, that after this birthday my next ‘big’ one will be my 30th, lol. But, let’s not dwell too much on that.

This last year has been a bloody ride. I’ve spent half of it without Zack which has meant that my mental health has kinda just crumbled entirely, but I think I’m getting back on track now.

So, anyway, I’ll stop rambling. Here’s 21 things I’ve learnt in 21 years…

1. Recovery isn’t linear

This is the number one thing that I’ve learnt this year. It isn’t linear and we shouldn’t punish ourselves for having dips sometimes.

2. Less is more

This year has been the year of the clear out for me. The clear out of old clothes, unused keepsakes and negative people, and it’s definitely for the good.

3. Experience is everything

Not the photos, or the videos, or the blog posts, the experience; that’s worth the most.

4. I can trust people

For the last few years, trust is something I have really struggled with. I had a bad patch where everything in my life seemed uncertain and, so, I stopped letting myself trust. But I’m slowly learning to start trusting again.

5. I feel better after exercise

And by this I mean mentally better. I’m never gonna tell someone that a walk is gonna cure their depression because it isn’t, but I’ve learnt that for me exercising really helps my mental state. (Note: helps, not cures).

6. I listen to Flight over than Fight

I used to get angry and stressed and het up about things, but that’s really changed. Now, I just want to remove myself from a situation, mentally or physically. It’s much more peaceful.

7. I can be myself again

I often think of myself and my life in two half’s: before anxiety and with anxiety (BA and WA if you will). However, this year I’ve learnt that my personality from BA can be restored, and I’m so much happier.

8. Guilt is the enemy

If there’s something that effects my life more than anything else, it’s guilt. It’s my enemy and I need to learn to ignore it.

9. Just because someone listens doesn’t mean you should tell

There’s certain things you need to keep to yourself/to people you really trust; not everyone has the same heart as you.

10. Not everyone is laughing at you

In fact, most people probably don’t care what you’re doing. We all have those embarrassing Bridget Jones moments from time to time, but in every day life, no one is really paying you much attention.

11. Self judgment is the worst judgment

No one is ever going to be harsher on you than you are on yourself. So take it easy and allow yourself a break every now and then.

12. Always pee after sex

I include this in every list like this simply because it is my life mantra. Peeing after sex saves you UTI pain and is always worth the weird toilet dash.

13. Know your own worth in every aspect

We preach this so much for relationships, but I’ve never seen someone say the same about friendships or family relationships. Know what you’re worth and, if someone is treating you badly, learn to walk away, no matter who they are.

14. A house and kids aren’t the most important thing in life

I used to think they were. And, because I’m getting married next year, everyone seems to think that I’ve got that on my mind. NOPE. I would love that life one day, but for now I’ve got bigger priorities.

15. Never go to sleep on an argument

With anyone. It’s not worth it.

16. The world really isn’t so big

Zack was like thousands and thousands of miles away from me this year, and it was really hard. But it definitely taught me that the world isn’t as big as I thought.

17. Not everyone is going to agree

And you’ve just got to leave it that way sometimes. Agree to disagree, as the saying goes.

18. It’s not your purpose to single-handedly save the world

It’s ok to ask for help, no matter what it is that you’re struggling with.

19. A month without chocolate is really hard

Me and dechox are plodding our way through Feb but god this is harder than I thought it would be!

20. Skincare is important

I’ve always been dismissive because I’ve been lucky enough to have pretty good skin. However, now that I’m getting on a bit, I’m realising the importance of skincare more and more!

21. Turning 21 doesn’t change anything

I was really scared about turning 21. It just seems so official and solid, and the thought that my next big birthday isn’t until I’m 30 really scares me. But, I’ve realised that I’ll still be the same person. Life will still be the same. It’s nothing to fear.


H x

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